Sunday, April 26, 2009

Ling Ling Potstickers and Guacamole Doritos

So here's the deal, I'm PMSing. That means that I go from cleaning every square inch of my house to eating. Then sleep. Lots of it. Get up, and repeat. My favorite thing to eat whilst PMSing was Guacamole Doritos:

Shame on the folks at Frito Lay for discontinuing this product. I hope they know that there are probably THOUSANDS, if not MILLIONS of very angry PMSing women all over the world that curse their name at least once a month.

And in case you ask, no, guacamole dip and regular ole tostada chips are NOT the same. (Please note the anger in my voice.)

So I have resorted to Ling Ling Potstickers. Not quite the same combination of spicy and salty that my body craves, but none-the-less, fulfilling in their own way. The one thing that bugs me every time though, is that I prepare my potstickers according to the directions. But they still STICK. Mine never look like this:

Mine look like broken pieces of albino skin with pieces of vegetables and cabbage sticking out. That's not normal, right? A little dip in some soy sauce and they are good to go though.

OK, so share with me YOUR favorite PMSing food and activities...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

You know you're out of shape when.....

My oldest kidlet's softball team practices at a field 4 blocks from our house. This is 4 suburban blocks, not city blocks, so the field is really close. We decided to ride our bikes to the field yesterday. Since kidlet #1 just got a bigger bike, she is still a little unsteady on it. So I offered to throw the bat bag over my shoulder. Oh, I should also mention that I was also carrying a Venti Skim No-Foam Latte from Starbucks. Needless to say, this middle-aged mom is out of shape!!! My occasional trips to the treadmill in the basement are apparently not good enough! My things were BURNING as I peddled! I couldn't get up the small hill to the field, so I had to walk the bike up. I am sure every kid in that park was pointing and laughing :)

I did manage to salvage most of my latte and walk off the cramps during practice. But OIY that bike ride home was hell!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Domesticated Husband

Do you have one of these? Cooks a great dinner, knows how to do laundry, can even vacuum if prodded. However, anything mechanical is completely lost on him. This describes my ever lovin' husband.

The darling comes home from work today and I tell him that my printer is dead. His printer has been dead for at least 7 months now and it is still sitting on his desk. I told him that I was researching printers, and I'm going to get a new one (to go with my fancy new laptop). He lost a gasket!!! "I'm sure it can be fixed" he says. Uh, yeah, like yours?

So, I'm sitting here chuckling while he is over there throwing out four letter words, and shredding paper in the broken printer. He's been at it for about 10 minutes now, and just announced that it's dead. Thanks buddy. I was throwing out four letter words and shredding paper for 4 hours straight today. I also unscrewed the top and pulled it apart and still found nothing to make it jam. Please note, there is no screwdriver in my man's hand.

So, I better put some real pants on now. I'm sure the salesperson at Best Buy/Staples/Walmart/Target (where ever I end up) won't want to see my flannel pajama bottoms.

Friday, April 17, 2009

By FAR the best college radio song!

Every so often I find myself in this desperate attempt to connect with my past. This morning was one of those attempts. If you went to college in the late 80s, early 90s like I did, you might remember this song playing on your college radio station:

The Origin: Set Sails Free

Yes, I was one of those infamous annoying college DJs. I played anything and everything. I'm pretty sure I can still sing along with every Cure song from "Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me". And don't tell anyone, but almost 20 years later, I still have my bootleg U2 and professional grade "cans" or headphones.

Ah yes, a walk down memory lane!


I hope you guys know that I was only joking about the hundred dollar bills!!! LOL! I meant to say thousand dollar bills :)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Junkyard

Literally. That's where my ever-lovin' husband's car is going to end up. He had a minor fender bender last week and totaled his car. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt, and the folks he hit were not hurt. In fact, their car has a dent in the bumper. My husband's car? Totaled. Now, you might be asking how can one one total one's car in a minor fender bender. It's all in the air bags my friend. The second those air bags deploy, if the car isn't worth at least $4k, then the car is totaled.

Who knew that it was at least four THOUSAND dollars to replace air bags after they have been deployed? Geesh! And here's the kicker... hubby didn't even come in contact with the deployed air bag because his seat belt locked like it is supposed to do!

So, we are car shopping for a VERY used car.

After my laptop died last week, and now the car... we are accepting donations. Personally, I would like each reader to send in a box of $100 dollar bills. It doesn't have to be a big box...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

Just taking a moment to wish everyone a Happy Easter!

Monday, April 6, 2009


My dear laptop, my Inspiron 9300. My trusty friend. It has gone to Las Vegas with me, camping every weekend, Panera, the library... need I go on? It has officially bit the dust. Three different computer techs told me that repairing it would be in vain. For alas, it's time has come.

I am now relegated to using the kidlet's computer. The homepage is and I've had to build a new bookmark tab just for mommy.

No more late nights in bed with Inspy. No more wishing the community pool had Wi-Fi. I'm now confined to a desk that is cluttered with Webkinz tags and lip gloss. *Sniff*

Rest in peace Inspy! You will be sorely missed, but your 5 years of service will be remembered fondly.

OK, so how much do laptops go for on eBay when you're selling them for scrap? Anyone?

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Don't hit your sister with the noodle!!!

And other fun things you never in a million years thought you would say.

For some reason, the kidlets have been playing with the pool noodles. You know, those long foam things that you are supposed to sit on to float in the pool? Well, for sure a man invented these things, because you give a kid a long foam object, and I don't care how well behaved they are, they are going to hit each other with them. Kidlet #2 hit kidlet #1 in the face with the noodle, and suddenly, spewing out of my mouth are the words, "You know better than to hit your sister in the face with a noodle!"

Or how about this one: "Why are your shoes in the toilet?"

This is one of my all-time favorites: "No, I refuse to let my 7 year old get a nose-ring, even a fake one."

And the one that I still can't believe I had to say, "I seriously doubt that if you eat those crayons you will poop a rainbow."

What are some of the things you have said that you cannot believe you have said to your child> C'mon, I know there are a few good ones out there!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Racing between stop signs

I don't get it. You give a man a navy blue car, with some really cool lights and antennas on top, and they think they can race from one stop sign to another. I live in a residential area (OK, that sounded stupid. What? As opposed to living in a non-residential area?) and there are a lot of moms waking strollers, kids, etc... you get the idea. Typical postcard suburb. It seems as though all the police officers in our town feel the need to speed between the 800+ stop signs that dot our streets. It really irritates me.

Now, before you call me one of "those" moms, that yells at every teenage driver speeding down the street. You'd be right. If the kidlets are outside playing, I'm like a mother lion. One blown tire, and if your speeding, my kidlet is toast.

And that goes for you too Mr. "I am the Law" police officer.

So the next time you see my white minivan (and by the way, never, and I mean never, blow off a mom in a minivan), you can be sure that I'm going to write down your plate number. Hell, I might even buy a radar gun ;)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Having one of "those" days.....

You know the kind of day. The kind where the minute your husband walks in the door, he's going to ask you if your PMSing. I should say I'm having that kind of week. I swear there is a black cloud over my head.

My kidlets are being rotten, I had a huge order go south on me, and now my laptop is slowly dying. I've replaced the motherboard, screen and power cord. It's no longer a laptop, because if it's not positioned just so, with the power cord wrapped tightly, then it won't work. I don't dare turn it off at night anymore for fear it won't power up in the morning.

And if that wasn't enough, I can't remember the last time I showered. I can usually tell by how hairy my legs are, but I know I haven't shaved in weeks. And before you get all grossed out, it's still winter here in Chicago - no one knows what my legs look like! And no, my ever lovin' husband wouldn't know either!

So, that is my day - hope yours is going better!!!