Thursday, April 3, 2008

It's that time of the year!

I had plenty of time to shower this morning, and shave every area that was in need (you have to realize that being Italian, the shaving process can take anywhere from a 5 minute touch up, to an entire 15 minutes of fine grooming). I slipped on clean cotton underwear, great jeans and a top, and I was off! A touch of lip gloss, and I was READY!

It's the annual gynecological appointment!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over the past 15 years, I've had my fair share of time in the stirrups. From pre-cancerous cells on my ever-lovin' cervix that needed to be removed, the bi-monthly paps that followed for a year, to the oh-so-wonderful infertility treatments, I think everyone in the state of Illinois and then some, has seen my crotch. I used to not worry about the grooming part, but then I thought, "Geez, my doctor sees hundreds of these things every day, why not make it look pretty?"

Oh, I'm not a Brazillian type of gal, but when you're a hairy Italian, you need to keep things in check. And besides, pool season is coming. So, I try to keep groomed, even in the winter and non-swimsuit seasons.

But the funniest thing happened BEFORE I got up into the stirrup room. I am sitting in the waiting room, which is filled with enormously pregnant women. There is a woman sitting across from me, with her 3 year old son. The kid had little cars and was making zoom-zoom noises, but high-pitched. Like glass-shattering squeals. You could tell that at nine months pregnant, that mom was getting a little irritated. Then I hear the about-to-burst woman next to me say, "I just can't wait! Imagine our little man playing like that one day!" to her husband as she rubs her belly. Oh brother! Is she in for a culture shock! Wait until Junior runs his metal cars across her dining room table, leaving gouges behind!

Well, this year is behind me. I'm sure next year there will be another little diddy I can post about. After all, there is something rather amusing about seeing enormously pregnant women while you are wearing a pair of slimming jeans with heels!

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