Divorce at the Drive Through

No, I'm not divorcing! But McDonald's drive through almost caused World War III in this house! I'm a full-time mom, so I'm used to dealing with the drive through at most fast food restaurants. But my loving husband decided to go through the drive through at McDonald's on Saturday. (By the way, he has done this before, he wasn't entering virgin territory here. Trust me folks, the man eats his share of Mickey D's.) He comes home with what is supposed to be 2 six piece McNugget Happy Meals, 2 kids Sprites, 2 ranch sauces, a crispy Southwest salad, 1 large ice tea (not that sweet tea crap) with lemon, and a quarter pounder value meal for himself.

I am going through the bags and happy meal cartons. No ranch sauce. Enter a screaming 6 year old. No toy in one box. Enter a screaming 8 year old. My ice tea? Yep, a sweet tea (blech). The only thing that my significant other got correct was his meal. So I tell him he has to go back. I get the look from hell like I just asked him to drive to Russia for some caviar. McDonald's is less than a mile from our house. I explain to him that it's his own dumb ass fault for not checking the bags and boxes before he pulled away. He then starts lecturing me on how, if people did their job correctly, and actually took pride in their job, then mistakes like this wouldn't happen.

Uh, hello? We're talking McDonald's here sweetie, not Nordstroms. I gently remind him that the three women in his life (which only one is speaking rationally, the other two are now on the floor in full-blown temper tantrums) would be a hell of a lot happier if he had taken the time to check the bags.

So, being the mom that I am, I take the receipt and car keys and go back to McDonalds. I get the missing toy, my correct ice tea (with 2 lemons thank-you-very-much) and ranch sauce. And because they were apologetic, I scored 3 free chocolate shakes. When I walked in, the kids cheered up and were thrilled with their free desserts. Hubby on the other hand asked where his shake was. With one eyebrow raised ever so slightly, I told him that I didn't check the bag before I left.

Summer Vacation Day 1

Well, so much for the sleeping in! Kiddos are still in early mode and woke me up at 7:30am. Thankfully there was only one hitting incident, but it's early, only 10:30am. Now I must go navigate Target with them. God give me strength to say no to Moon Sand!

Last Day of School!

Woo Hoo?

It's only been 7 hours since the kiddos were released to my summer custody, and already we're whining and fighting. Of course it's also ten o'clock at night and they are in need of some serious sleep. I'm fairly confident that summer vacation was created by a man. A man who works 5 days a week and only interacts with his children from the hours of 6pm to 8:30pm.

You hear about these moms that have drinking problems, or who smoke pot all day long. Well DUH! I can totally see this! I get it!

And while we're on the subject of man's creations - Polly Pockets... WTF? How many little itty bitty rubber shoes can one possibly pick up before one reaches for the vacuum?

When it Rains, Men Sit on Their Asses

The dryer is broken. OK, it's not exactly broken, but something is burning inside the motor. It's only two years old, and the rocket scientist I'm married to decided he could fix it. (You can imagine me rolling my eyes, right?) So he opened up the back and then decided that he didn't want to mess around and I should call a repairman. Ya think?

So the repairman can't come until Monday. No big deal. I always have a clothesline going in the backyard, so I hung up two more and have been zipping through the laundry as usual. Yesterday evening I decide to do a few errands and leave said rocket scientist home with the kidlets. By the time I got home, it was pouring.

You guessed it. Three clotheslines full of clothes and bedding that WERE almost dry are now soaking wet. All because my husband cannot do two things at once - watch the kids (and it's not like their toddlers for Heaven's sake, they are 6 and 8) AND take clothes off the lines!

Why oh why are men so one-dimensional??? I didn't say a word. I just went out into the pouring rain and took down my soaking wet laundry. And then he wonders why he doesn't have any clean (or dry) underwear this morning....

Attention new moms!

There is this little burger joint in the heart of our town's downtown area that is a popular hang-out with the bike-riding kid crowd. I was there on Saturday with my eight year old, her friend, and my twelve year old niece. Being girls, we were all laughing and having a great time over our cheese fries. There were tables full of kids that are allowed to ride their bikes to the main strip in town, indulging on chocolate malts and kid banter. Sitting behind my girls was this couple with a new baby. New Mom was standing, bouncing baby, shushing baby, and trying to get baby to sleep. All the while, she is shooting me (the only other mom in the place) these dirty looks like, "Can't you quiet your children? I'm trying to get my baby to sleep!" And of course I'm shooting her looks back like, "Uh honey, if you want your baby to sleep, take baby home!"

So, a call out to all new moms.... I don't care that you come waltzing into our burger joint with your stroller, babysling, breastfeeding cover-up and diaper bag stuffed with a month's worth of supplies! This is a hang-out for our children. That sweet little baby of yours is going to eventually grow up to be a noisy kid that is going to laugh and talk loudly. They will likely wake up a sleeping baby or two in their lifetime. You have GET OVER IT! And if you want your baby to sleep, go home, lay in your bed and put the baby to the breast and fall asleep yourself. At least, that is what always worked for me! Oh, and one more thing, you don't need a diaper bag stuffed to the gills. Really, you don't. All that diaper bag does is hurt your shoulder and scream NEW MOM HERE!

I'm only going to say this once!

Kendall is stupid for telling Zach she slept with Aidan. Greenlee is just a dumbass all together (and by the way, the "old" Greenlee should have stayed gone). Adrianna is a bitch and needs to f* off. Rex and Gigi will end up together, happily ever after. And Cole? He's twice as big as nasty old Todd, why doesn't he just take him?

Us moms do watch soap operas, don't let anyone tell you different. The reason why they don't tell you is that they don't want you to think that we sit on the couch eating bon-bons while we do it. We use our DVRs wisely... we multi-task. Especially us moms that work from home. It's amazing how much work you can get done on the computer while sitting on the couch, watching soaps and eating bon-bons!

Quick update!

Some of my readers have asked about Tricia - the woman waiting for a double lung transplant. She received her new lungs overnight! Please continue to pray for Tricia, her husband Nate, and their baby girl who was born 15+ weeks early because of her mom's CF. You can read all about this wonderful little family on Nate's blog: Confessions of a CF Husband

Also, please keep the family of the donor in your prayers. Their loss means life for others. The decision they made was hard, but means so much. God give them the strength to grieve, and know the gift they have given others. If you haven't signed up to be an organ donor yet, please do so. You can visit your Secretary of State's website and sign up there. Also please let your family know your intentions.