Don't hit your sister with the noodle!!!

And other fun things you never in a million years thought you would say.

For some reason, the kidlets have been playing with the pool noodles. You know, those long foam things that you are supposed to sit on to float in the pool? Well, for sure a man invented these things, because you give a kid a long foam object, and I don't care how well behaved they are, they are going to hit each other with them. Kidlet #2 hit kidlet #1 in the face with the noodle, and suddenly, spewing out of my mouth are the words, "You know better than to hit your sister in the face with a noodle!"

Or how about this one: "Why are your shoes in the toilet?"

This is one of my all-time favorites: "No, I refuse to let my 7 year old get a nose-ring, even a fake one."

And the one that I still can't believe I had to say, "I seriously doubt that if you eat those crayons you will poop a rainbow."

What are some of the things you have said that you cannot believe you have said to your child> C'mon, I know there are a few good ones out there!

Attention new moms!

There is this little burger joint in the heart of our town's downtown area that is a popular hang-out with the bike-riding kid crowd. I was there on Saturday with my eight year old, her friend, and my twelve year old niece. Being girls, we were all laughing and having a great time over our cheese fries. There were tables full of kids that are allowed to ride their bikes to the main strip in town, indulging on chocolate malts and kid banter. Sitting behind my girls was this couple with a new baby. New Mom was standing, bouncing baby, shushing baby, and trying to get baby to sleep. All the while, she is shooting me (the only other mom in the place) these dirty looks like, "Can't you quiet your children? I'm trying to get my baby to sleep!" And of course I'm shooting her looks back like, "Uh honey, if you want your baby to sleep, take baby home!"

So, a call out to all new moms.... I don't care that you come waltzing into our burger joint with your stroller, babysling, breastfeeding cover-up and diaper bag stuffed with a month's worth of supplies! This is a hang-out for our children. That sweet little baby of yours is going to eventually grow up to be a noisy kid that is going to laugh and talk loudly. They will likely wake up a sleeping baby or two in their lifetime. You have GET OVER IT! And if you want your baby to sleep, go home, lay in your bed and put the baby to the breast and fall asleep yourself. At least, that is what always worked for me! Oh, and one more thing, you don't need a diaper bag stuffed to the gills. Really, you don't. All that diaper bag does is hurt your shoulder and scream NEW MOM HERE!